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a rare and radiant maiden
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| ...moving |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|05:10 pm] |
Okay.
So, I'm tired of maintaining two journals.
Initially, I was going to keep my spiritual, witchy journal seperate from the one I keep as my personal journal. After a few months, however, I find that a) my spiritual life is a whole lot more entwined with my personal life than I gave myself credit for and b) with school, I don't find myself devoting as much time to pagan studies as I did over the summer (when I started this journal), so I really have nothing to write about.
So I'm going to end this journal, probably permanently. It will still be up, because I'm far too lazy to move all of my communities to my other journal, but I won't be updating it.
I'm adding everyone here to my OTHER friends list (most of you are already on it, anyway). When I have something especially pagan-ish---something I don't feel lie sharing with the mostly Christians friends I have in real life and who frequent my other journal, who wouldn't understand and are not interested---I'll simply lock it so just y'all can see it.
My username at the other lj is oohlalindsey, so update your journals accordingly, loves! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2005|01:49 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | "Rent" soundtrack | ] |
Fair St. Agnes, play thy part
And send to me my own sweetheart
Not in his best or worst array
But in the clothes he wears each day
That tomorrow I may him ken
From among all other men
The Eve Of St. Agnes |
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| bring flowers to the fairest |
[Jan. 19th, 2005|03:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ryan Adams | ] |
This is what I found when I was flipping through my World Lit textbook during class, utterly bored with Gilgamesh:
Come, goddess, to your holy shrine,
where your delightful apple grove
awaits, and altars smoke with frankincense.
A cool brook sounds through apple boughs,
and all's with roses overhung;
from shimmeing leaves a trancelike sleep takes hold.
Here is a flowery meadow, too,
where horses graze, and gentle blow
the breezes...
Here, then, Love-goddess much in mind,
infuse our feast in gracious style
with nectar poured in cups that turn to gold.
Sappho
I heart Sappho. |
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| i shall put enmity between you and woman |
[Jan. 13th, 2005|02:14 pm] |
Only four days into the semester, and I've already decided what I want to do for my first paper in World Literature and begun research. I'm such an A+ student.
I've decided that I'm going to compare the themes of the Babylonian creation epic Enuma Elish with the first eleven chapters of Genesis (both of which were assigned readings in one of our literature anthologies). I've already got some good ideas jotted down, but what I was wondering is this: does anyone know of any articles in academic journals or scholarly books that delve into the symbolism of the serpent, specifically as it relates to the religions of the ancient world and the Bible? Like something that you might have in your bookmarks that might point me in the right direction?
Ah well. Off to Literary Criticism! |
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| la final schedule du printemps |
[Jan. 12th, 2005|03:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Welcher Wechsel...Traurigkeit"----Natalie Dessay (Mozart) | ] |
This will be a repeat for some of y'all, so feel free to skip it =).
Acting For Non-Majors: (MWF) I actually *found* it today....waaaaay in the back of Academic Village. I mean, so far back that the minute I pull out of the parking lot I'm no longer technically in UCF property. But parking is (gasp!) not impossible. There are actually spaces at 10 am, unlikely everywhere else on campus. But I digress. It seems like a very fun class: not very difficult, which makes it a nice break from my other classes. The professor is very cool. I was happy to discover that, while there are no theater majors in the class (obviously, judging by the title), the other students aren't the "I have no interest at all in acting, but I'll take this class for an easy A ans to fill out my schedule" type. They are all interested in acting, like moi, and have had experience, like moi, and just decided to get their degrees in something that they can potentially make money in while they pursue acting, like moi. And a few of them have actually been in commercial work. And, as a side note, my professor is also a pagan. So, yay, fun class!
Elementary French Language and Civilization I: (MWF) I'm so happy I dropped British History for this. The professor is the most adorable old guy in the world. He's hilarious. And I earned brownie points today because I remember pronunciation from high school and because I was the only one who knew about the liason in terms like "comment allez-vous?" It seems like he's going to concentrate quite a lot on conversation and pronunciation, unlike in high school, where the focus is more on writing (because, obviously, it's difficult to monitor the pronunciation of 40 students in one class). I was shocked that I never got bored in class today, really, because it's an hour and 20 minutes long (and I despise those long classes), but class passed very quickly.
World Literature I: (TTh) I know these classes seem simplistic for a sophomore to be taking, but trust me, they ain't. The professor for this class is awesome. I like young professors like her, because they usually don't load you down with schoolwork; they realize that you have a life outside of class because they do, too, and they don't want to spend their entire weekend grading your papers. The readings for this class include the poetry of the ancient fertile crescent, the poetry and plays of the Greeks and Romans, the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, the Rig Veda, the Bhagavad Gita, courtly stuff from Asia and Japan, chivalrous romances (I know that we're reading "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight"...alot of good stuff. I'm excited because we're going to read some of the pillow book of Sei Shonogan. That makes me giddy. I look forward to all the time we're going to spend on the myths of the pagan peoples of the ancient world. The only big project we have is to lead a class discussion for around 15 minutes on a certain work. I want to lead one on "Lysistrata", or maybe "Don Quixote". Or something. And only two papers! Wee!
Theory and Technique of Literary Criticism: (TTh) I was dreading this class, because as a creative writing major, the idea of pulling apart someone's work and disecting it is frightening to me. Just the name of this class sound scary. It's required for my major, so I have to take it, but it just *sounds* like there will be so much writing...and not the kind of writing that I like. But the professor is very nice, and we're only going to have 2 papers. Our final project, instead of the 20 page criticism I was expecting, is just going to be to make something that represents a theory of criticism (Marxist, New-Historicist, feminist, etc.) without words. She realizes that we creative writing kids (and there are a bunch in this class) need the chance to be artistic and creative, so kudos to her. Thank goodness, the work that we're going to be studying in-depth is Twain's "Huckleberry Finn"...which I've not only read before, but I actually love. Thank goodnes it's Twain and not a writer I can't stand (I was fearing that we'd have to spend the whole semester on something like "Walden"...gag!). |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2004|05:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Lala"----Ashlee Simpson | ] |
Found in The Hyperlinked and Searchable Chambers'1869 'The Book of Days', which I'm currently addicted to.
Hope everyone has half the sorrow as last year and twice the joy. Happy New Year to all, and disregard the very last line =).
Ring out wild bells to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light:
The Year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The Year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more;
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.
Ring out a slowly-dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.
Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.
Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.
Ring out old shapes of foul disease;
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.
Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|04:11 pm] |
Flipping through the new issue of National Geographic this afternoon, I found a lovely little tidbit in the "My Seven" column. This issue, it is written by Dorinda Hafner, who is apparently an author, actress, and epicure living in Australia, of African descent. In the last part of the small article, she shares a little ancestral rite she grew up with in Ghana: one digs a hole in the ground and then speaks into it all of the bad things that happened in the last year. The hole is then covered with dirt, and one speaks off all the good things that they hope will happen in the coming year, and then pours a libation of wine over the ground to honor the ancestors.
It seems like an appropriate and simple rite for the 31st of this month or the first of the year...fits in quite well with the idea that the dead are inseperable from the land, and I do like the idea of digging a whole and whispering to the ancestors.
And now, since it's the feast day of Thomas Becket and the anniversary of his death, I think I'll go watch "Becket", which I got for Christmas. |
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| love and joy come to you |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|01:15 pm] |
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After finishing my simple midwinter rite last night, I decided to watch a rerun of an episode of Carnivale on HBO in the living room. The house was completely dark as I made my way from my bedroom to the living room, and as I turned the corner, I saw something very appropriate: one candle lit on one of our small tables, illuminating the darkness of the house. Now, my mama and I *did* have one candle lit last night (one of those massive, deliciously Christmas smelling Yankee Candles)...but that's not the candle that was lit when I walked into the living room. I'm fairly sure that my mama did not light that one when we were watching that adorable "A Muppet's Christmas Carol"; if she had, I would have blown it out when I was turning off the Christmas lights and locking up the house for the night. What a wonderful little gift from Whoever decides these things. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2004|04:28 pm] |
I know I've ranted about silly people who just happen to be pagans and their comments on witchvox, but I'm just sadistic and keep going back to see what funny things people will say.
Today, this gem (quoted in full, from "Anonymous"):
"The real issue here are the fundamentalists may get regular Christians on their side. They may contact Congress/President and demand that the attack on Christians stop by protecting Christian anything against people that disagree, then have non-Christians wear a symbol to separate them from true believers, then remove our rights since we're Satanic, then have us enslaved or killed."
All because some fanatical Christians are mad when people say "Happy Holidays" to be more inclusive of Jews, pagans, Muslims, atheists, and people who celebrate Christmas for presents.
So this is my beef: I do not understand why some pagans (and Christians and Jews and Muslims and everyone else) feel that they *must* be constantly under attack and persecuted. A few Christian fringe groups boycotting Burdines because their employees are not instructed to say "Merry Christmas" is NOT going to excalate to the enslavement of American pagans. Honestly. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2004|03:53 pm] |
I've been busy busy busy this holiday season, and I probably won't be un-busy until after Christmas.
But I did want to drop a line and tell everyone to have a merry midwinter. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2004|05:48 pm] |
It's winter...
AT last!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2004|01:14 pm] |
Sigh.
I wish there was a spell to make my messy roomate wash her dishes. When I walked out of my room this morning, there was a pile of dishes *literally* a foot or so high...and the sink was empty when I went to bed last night at around 10.
We're twins in almost every way: we're both sophomores, both blondes, both native Floridians with the same accent, both new sorority members (our respective sororities are actually "pan pals" this year, which basically means that us Thetas and those Pi Phis are extra close and do special things together to foster pan-Greek pride and all that jazz), both 19...but the damn girl is just messy when it comes to dishes.
I wish she was a bitch, so I could dislike her. But she's the sweetest person. Why oh why can't she be obsessive about cleanliness like me?
In other news, I am officially done with school this semester. Tomorrow, I'm going home and looking forward to an entire month of relaxing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2004|08:04 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The Killers----"Somebody Told Me" | ] |
Chemistry makes me sad. Chemistry finals make me downright morose. But, thank the Gods, after tomorrow morning I will never have to take a math or science class again. Yay!
Can't wait for tomorrow morning to come and go so that finals and school will be over and I can finally do some reading that I'll truly enjoy.
On a completely different note, my mama and I went to the Candlelight Processional at Epcot last night (our little Christmastime tradition: we have a nice, fancy French dinner and then sit in the front row...ah, it pays to have a mommy who is a Disney exec). Anywho, Jim Caviezel (heh, the *other* J.C.) narrated. What a cutie-pie up close. Mmmmmm....delicious. We enjoyed ourselves waaaaay to much with our "Jesus Christ!", "Christ Almighty!", "Good Lord!", "Good God!" comments..... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2004|07:05 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | "Tango to Evora"----Loreena McKennit | ] |
Avalon had it's Christmas sale today, so I decided to take a break from studying for exams and treat myself to a shopping trip. I told myself that I wouldn't spend much, because I need to conserve alot of my money for presents for other people (since I've only shopped for one of the ten people I buy gifts for). Of course, when I got there, I wanted to max out my credit card with loot.
I ended up getting two books: "Natural Magic" by Doreen Valiente and "Magical Charms and Incantations", edited by Elizabeth Pepper and published by the Witches' Almanac...both of which have been on my "to buy" list for a long time but which I could never find in bookstores (and never got around ordering on Amazon--there are very few books that I'll buy unless I can flip through them first). Best of all, they were 10% off, so I got them both for $21. Quite a good buy!
The sale was lovely. It was almost like a mini-festival: free food, people chatting, card readings (though I didn't shell out any money to have mine read), and apparently there was going to be drumming later on in the day. There were alot of witchbabies in the store, all dressed up in little jumpers and jackets because it's finally gotten chilly here. They were adorable. I considered stealing a little blonde one in a red jumper, but I don't think her mother would have been very amused...
Well, back to studying. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2004|10:58 pm] |
I have no love for Jerry Falwell, but really....
An article posted on Witchvox reports that Jerry Falwell is seeking to restart his Moral Majority thingy. Whatever. Failed the first time. Not too worried about it.
What irks me is that many pagans responded to the article to say that they've joined the group, specifically to cause Falwell and Company problems and let him know that it's been "infiltrated". They seem to see this as very moral and correct of them (because we all know that lying was quite respected by our pagan ancestors!). Yet I can't help but think that these same people would be up in arms if members of Falwell's group "infiltrated" Covenant of the Goddess, Reclaiming, or any of *their* groups, calling it the next Inquisition and that sort of thing.
I just wish, if I may be Pollyanna for a minute, that we could all get along. For all that everyone talks about love, peace, and reconciliation, no one makes any effort. I know that it's easier to be angry and cruel, but is it really worth it? What good does it do any of us to know that, gee, Jerry Falwell and his friends don't like us? I could have read the Bible and found that out. I can't help but think that being kind would get better results. They can't call you an evil, immoral idolator who hates mankind when you're always polite to them and bake them cookies. And if they do, they look like fools.
But bah. It's only a few people; that's my mantra. It's only a few people giving a bad impression of us... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2004|12:25 pm] |
I lurk on an e-mail list primarily concerned with Celtic deities and traditions, and in the past few days someone asked if anyone knew any lore associated with "the feast day of Arianrhod", which they had once read was December 6th. A few people responded that they couldn't find any solid references to such a feast day, or any celebration associated with Arianrhod, thus leading them to believe that any such feast day was utterly modern and created by modern pagans. This reminded me of a passage I read in Hutton's "The Pagan Religions of the Ancient British Isles", where he "debunked" (but, eh, he really didn't convince moi) Welsh deities such as Cerridwen and Arianrhod, reducing them to merely characters in popular folklore that modern pagans had elevated to the stance of gods. (And yes, I do have some problems with Hutton, but that's for another time and other people have articulated those same problems far better than I could).
Which made me ask myself this: who cares?
Maybe Cerridwen, Arianrhod, and a whole mess of other deities weren't "really" deities to our ancestors. Maybe they were just characters in local folklore (of course, that "proves" nothing--so many characters in folklore ARE the old gods, conveniently disguised and perhaps debased) that modern pagans have elevated to gods. But does it matter? Clearly, those pagans didn't just read the Mabinogian and say, "Gee, let's just call these ladies gods, just for the hell of it". They obviously experienced the power of those gods; perhaps they recognized shadows of the old gods in the stories. Who knows? And really, who cares?
This insistence on only accepting something if it's "old" is ridiculous. That's what made Gardner and Leek and their ilk lie about their ancient religion and practices. As much as I sympathize and identify with recons, the truth is that we are *never* going to recover more than an inkling of what our pagan ancestors had. They were born, they lived, and they died with their beliefs and practices intact. We are pouring through books and experimenting, trying to recover something of what they knew. And we have succeeded, and I'm sure that, as the years progress, we will learn even more. But we'll never know all of it, or even the majority. And besides, we really don't need or want to be just like them. We know have nice things like shampoo and indoor plumbing and the grocery store. And if a modern pagan chooses to pray to Arianrhod instead of a more widely-known pagan deity, and they experience Her wisdom and believe that She exists, who has the right to say, 'Oh, what you feel isn't real because Arianrhod is just a storybook character."? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 29th, 2004|12:44 pm] |
I was surfing around Witchvox and stumbled across this article from last week. The pagans seemed nice enough and no doubt had the best of intentions, so everything I say from this point on is not about them. This article was simply the impetus that made me consider something else. And I really hate the fact that the election is still an issue and that we're still talking about it, but oh well. This isn't so much about the election, either.
Now, it's not off base to say that the majority of pagans in America (certainly the ones that are well-known) are rather far-left and that the majority of them voted for John Kerry. Whatever; it isn't my business who anyone voted for. In the pagan community in this country, many people felt the need to integrate their spirituality and/or magical practice with their politics. That's fine, too; I have no beef with that. Raven Grimassi's idea of a "needfire", ostensibly to "keep the election honest and precipitate change" was P.C. enough, but let's call a spade a spade: it was a needfire to get Kerry elected. Isaac Bonewits was a bit more honest: he, at least, came out and said quite clearly that people should use magic to defeat Bush. What with the preoccupation in the American pagan community with "harming none" and using "non-manipulative magic", his idea was not as popular and widely-used as Grimassi's gentler approach.
And this is where the question of faith comes in. Many pagans, some who I know personally and some who I've read about on blogs, websites, etc. performed rituals and asked the Gods to "let the best candidate win". When Bush carried Ohio and, thus, won the election, these people hung their heads in defeat. "We lost", they said.
What?!?
There's a saying that one of my best friends, who is a Methodist, told me that is apparently popular among Christians: "God answers every prayer. Sometimes, the answer is 'no'." I know that some pagans/witches/insert nifty label here believe that spells are synonymous with prayers--I don't. When I pray, I am acknowledging my surrender to the Divine. I am acknowledging that the Gods know best, and that Fate will have Her way regardless of what we mortals do. So I must ask: where is faith in all of this? The answer to the prayers of these pagans was quite clearly "no". Am I all that happy about it? No, I'm not. But I have faith in the Gods and in Fate. Perhaps it's naive, perhaps it's ultra simplistic, but I do truly believe that there is a reason for everything. Fate will do what must be done, and usually we don't understand why She does these things that seem awful to us, because we are mortals. We don't see the big picture; we can't, really. It seems to me very arrogant to believe that you--whoever you are--know better than Fate. And maybe, just maybe, the best candidate did win. Maybe your prayers were answered, but it just wasn't the answer that you expected. Fate often works like that. |
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| sakura, sakura... |
[Nov. 27th, 2004|03:32 pm] |
I was watching a program late at night on Ovation (some random channel that is all about the arts, specifically the performing arts, that I didn't even know we had until recently...gotta love digital cable)...it was a documentary on kabuki. I loved seeing the excerpts of kabuki performances, not just because they are aesthetically gorgeous and enchanting (even if I don't understand a word), but because that kind of performance is so foreign to me, a person trained in Western theatre. But I found it even more interesting to see the day-to-day lives of the kabuki actors; their home lives, how they prepare for a performance, etc. It fascinates me that the various roles have set blocking, and that actors are trained rigorously in said blocking and rarely make a change. When seeing "Hamlet", we Westerners can be pretty damn sure that what we're seeing is nothing like what Elizabethan audiences saw (since styles of acting have changed so much since then), and yet Japanese audiences will see something quite similar to what audiences 300 years ago saw during a play.
One of the older kabuki actors was sitting on his porch (heh, I'm sure that's not what they call it in Japan) and watching white cranes in the river to prepare for his role as a white crane in a particularly haunting piece. He was musing about the differences in how certain blossums fall: peonies fall quickly, while cherry blossoms fall softly. It just struck me how much I wish I lived in a culture where beauty was as prized as that, where true art could flourish. |
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| Fulfilling Pretentious Pagan Requirement #35748: The Weekly Taunting of Starhawk |
[Nov. 19th, 2004|04:49 pm] |
I'm at my folks' house, and I was bored this afternoon (since I decided against bringing any of my school stuff here because....well, because I'm lazy and don't want to do homework, that's why), so I was flipping through some old Sagewoman magazines. I've already opined on why that mag is going down the toilet, so that's not what this short post is about. Anyway, there was an ad for that "Witchcamp" that Starhawk and her Reclaiming buddies put on every year. Now, I'm not casting aspersion of those fine folks, but the ad showed a circle of witch children "playing non-competitive games" (their words, not mine).
WTF?!?
I wonder what the ancient Greek pagans would have thought about "non-competetive games".... |
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| Homeland And HOMELAND |
[Nov. 18th, 2004|02:13 pm] |
I really shouldn't drink caffeinated Irish Breakfast tea at nightime, because I lay in bed wide awake at 2 am pondering things that just keep me up longer. I should have used that energy to study for my chemistry exam today, but alas, I hate chemistry, so I didn't.
What I was thinking about mostly was the concept of the homeland. Like so many Americans, I can't trace my ancestry back to ONE place; I can't, for example, claim Scotland as my *real* homeland, because to do so ignores the parts of me that are English, Italian and Serbian. I think there certainly is something to be said for the sense of belonging that comes from setting foot on the land of one's ancestors; though I'm only the tiniest bit English, I certainly felt *something* while I was there in May. It was a very distinct feeling, a feeling of "coming home", for lack of a better term. I know that many pagans (and non-pagans, for that matter) feel the same when they travel to the land(s) of their ancestors.
And yet I can't accept what so many pagans seem to do: that my homeland is "there", not here (and by here, I mean Florida specifically and America in general), and that I should consider myself little more than a visitor in my own country, because it's not *mine* (as in, I'm not a Native American and really have no desire to adapt Native traditions, like others do). Let's forget for a moment that, if we go back far enough, even people in our homelands aren't really from *there*. What good does it do to concentrate solely on a homeland that is across an ocean, a homeland that one might never set foot on, let alone live in? I think one thing that many pagans forget is that, unless you're a first generation American, your roots are here, too. For example, while my maternal line is fairly new to this country (as in, I'm a third-generation American on that side), parts of my paternal line have been here since the Mayflower. That's amost 400 years of history in this country, 400 years of my ancestors who were born, lived, and died in this country. I'm sure that the ancestors of many American pagans did the same. So how can I, in good conscience, ignore THOSE ancestors in favor of ancestors who were born, lived, and died in the Old World, ancestors who are even farther removed from me? I can't.
A love of the Land means a love of the whole Land, not just mist-filled islands. As a practical witch, I have to be here now, not live in dreamy fairy-stories of homelands that I am removed from by more than sheer distance. Maybe my life will take me to Scotland or Italy or England (really, I can't see myself ever living in Serbia, but I would eventually like to visit). Maybe I'll someday make my home in those lands. I would certainly love having those primal feelings that I felt in my heart and my blood in England surrounding me all the time. But even if I do make my home elsewhere, Florida (and America) will also be my home. I feel those same primal feelings when I'm walking by the little creek near our house, surrounded by cypress trees.
Interestingly enough, while reading "The Underworld Initiation" yesterday afteroon, I highlighted this quote: "In the Underworld, the Ancestors and the Land are At One". I think we put too much emphasis on the physical land that our ancestors inhabited and forget that they live somewhere far more important: in our blood and in our memories. That affects us so much more than what plot of land an ancestor three hundred years ago occupied in Europe. |
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wyrdwytch's journal